Today has, among other things, forced me to reconsider the resurrection of my cigarette addiction.
A cigarette addiction that I supposedly quit for good a while back.
My body (or is it my brain? my soul?) is playing the role of enabler too damn well. Today, on this fourth day of nonstop family fun, it wants a cigarette - nay, needs a cigarette (Ed. note: Nay even?). The tenuous grasp I hold on sanity begs for some assistance to keep it at its tenuous best.
I haven’t actually smoked anything yet. I made that mistake once before.
But tomorrow, when I am back in Chicago, I return to my world of solitude, silence, and availability to all imaginable vices. Is there a good chance that a cigarette may somehow find its way into my right hand to keep company the nth drink in my left? (This is a rhetorical question.) My boyfriend and my friends and anyone else that has developed a conscience when it comes to the future livelihoods of their lungs will disapprove. But a girl needs to recover after four continuous days of we’ll have you sleep four in a room because there are 12 of us here and isn’t it fun to all be in one house together like this for the holidays? Four continuous days of kin who normally remain a hop, a skip, and 400 miles away. I plan to start with some shots of tequila and see where that leads.
All this while I blog about the holiday weekend of course.
Merry Christmas! I hear my name being called. And questions of where I could possibly have been for the last twenty minutes. Time again for me to learn what other part of my body used to look thinner, daughter, did it not while simultaneously having my hands yanked from my body to hold yet anther plate of food that is being forced into them. Life with family is fun that way.
Happy birthday, Baby Jesus.
Update:Two people (or the same person) stumbled upon my blog today using the search terms: ”bills gamblin hall las vegas hookers?” and “flight attendants” “mile high”. Ho ho ho, indeed, yes?
Damsel in Digress
Are you there, tequila? It's me, Damsel.
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I’d say I can relate to the stressful holiday, but since I was with The Boyfriend’s family, I’d be lying (because they’re wonderful).
Not to be annoying/dramatic but you? need to stop smoking! Seriously! Believe me, my mom has emphysema and it really isn’t too much fun.
Although I still love you no matter what. Good luck with the rest of the holiday/traveling back to Chicago!
nicole – no, you’re right. not annoying, not dramatic, just right. tomorrow, promise me, you’ll talk some sense into me okay? because right now, i’m under non-voluntary lock-in mode anyway and have no access to freedom, cigarettes, sanity. but tomorrow, once peace has resumed, i know i won’t WANT to smoke. (a few shots of tequila should be enough.) so be on call, k? kthanksiloveyoubai.
so i never really comment on the blogs i read, since it’s a new thing i started doing. i don’t have one of my own- but i’m a big fan of reading them and (hopefully soon!) starting my own.. but! i just had to tell you that i absolutely love yours. i found it on the blogroll of some other one- i can’t remember which, sorry!- and i literally read all the way up from the beginning to now in a day. you’re writing is so honest and blunt and just every entertaining and interesting to read! which has proven to be somewhat hard to find in a blog. anyway- just wanted to stop by and let you know ya definitely have a new reader!
Tequila induced holiday blogging sounds preferable to overanalysis of body parts any day…
melissa – i am unbelievably flattered. i am in some serious need of kind, nice, sweet, complimentary words after 4 days with my family so thank you, thank you, and are you the second coming of the messiah? i’m so excited to have a new reader and please let me know when you (hopefully soon!) start your own.
princess pointful – haha, right? i haven’t done the whole drunk blogging thing yet … there’s always a first time for everything though, aye? (see! a canadianism! because i heart you tons!)
Instead of smoking, go to the mall and buy yourself a present as a reward for having spent so much time with your family!
I don’t have any relatives nearby, so holidays are just me and my sis and parents. And I think I like it that way….
susie – i love the way you think. there are some great christmas sales to take advantage of right now! i’m back in chicago and i already feel calmer. i love my family, but 4 days of loud immediate + extended family trapped in one house with nothing to do? my lord. i should have thought to film the madness – could have made excellent reality tv footage. i hope you are having a very incredible and happy holidays!
i would definitely take susie’s advice
hope you had a wonderful christmas!
Sadly Christmas witht he fam will do that to you. Stay strong.
Oh dear god. Family is amazing, but they have a really fantastic way of wanting us to scratch our own eyes out, do they not?
I hope you find some peace soon!
Oh boy, I hope everything with your family goes well! I can definitely understand that a family might drive someone to need cigarettes and lots of tequila. If you need a drinking partner, I’m your gal.
Though I agree with Nicole…stop smoking! I’ve seen the things it can do long-term and you are way too hilarious and amazing to have to go through that. So if you need a stop-smoking partner, I can be your gal for that too!
So here I was all miffed I wasn’t with my family… then I ran across your blog and you reminded me of all the things about being with my family that would make me SCREAM! And also perhaps drink a little too much. But I did that anyway. Whoops.
It’s funny how the older I get, the more often I catch myself saying “I love my family but…”
Good luck with the quitting smoking for good.
Don’t give in to the cigarette! Don’t do it! It isn’t worth it! I hope you’re able to avoid the temptation.
Also, I love your description of the family. All families are the same sometimes, huh?
noooo don’t dooo iiiitttt!!!
hahahaa. sorry about that, that was kinda outta control. ditto on too much…family-ness.
merry christmas lady! xo!
I just started smoking again a few weeks ago, after having not done it for 6 years (except for the once-in-a-while drinking cigarette), and it feels really naughty and really right all at once. I missed smoking.
BTW- Found your blog thru your Indie Bloggers post, which I loved.
LOVED your piece on indie bloggers.
pleased to report i have been in my city of sin for a full 24 hours and no smoking has been done. by me. i can’t make any promises for the 2.9 other million people that live here.
michelle – hi! merry belated christmas – i hope yours was amazing. yes, susie’s advice sounds much more fun. this is why i need you guys =)
miriam – “stay strong” … i am so getting this henna-ed into my hand the next time i’m subject to family time.
chasing paradise – yes, exactly! i do love them, and i thank them for all the material they provide for this blog, but peace? they seem to not be familiar with this concept.
virginia – i am 17 shades of giddy at the idea of you being my girl. wait – what? only for drinking and not smoking together? ok, good enough, i’ll take you however i can.
miriam d – hahaha. well 1. hello! and 2. if you ever need someone to nod along and second the oops to drinking too much, it’s me! oh, and someone to provide you ample “this is why families makes us scream” material? that’s me, too!
jack – thank you! yes … the qualifying BUT starts to become second nature.
jess – i’ve been good – 24 hours and NO smoking! and excuse me while i do the trite thing right now and quote mr. tolstoy because i love mr. tolstoy. “Happy families are all alike; every CRAZY family is CRAZY in its own way.” yes. i took some liberties.
libby – i like kinda outta control! merry christmas, my dear. i hope all those hours you had to put in at work weren’t too insufferable!
superblondgirl – oh, you naughty temptress. just like that, my resolve is quickly slipping away (to your defense, it wasn’t too strong to begin with). thank you for your kind words about the IB post. i can’t wait to check out your blog!
kristen – thank you so much. your writing? is absolutely stunning.
I know smoking is bad for you and everything, but I can understand that urge after being cramped in with your family for awhile. Personally, I will be taking advantage of what drinks will be at my New Year’s party…
Oh…and then I will probably end up actually encouraging others to smoke so that I can smell it on them…I love the smell of smoke on people…attractive men in particular…ok, enough about my weirdness…
you? are hilarious. oh, and this paragraph:
“Merry Christmas! I hear my name being called. And questions of where I could possibly have been for the last twenty minutes. Time again for me to learn what other part of my body used to look thinner, daughter, did it not while simultaneously having my hands yanked from my body to hold yet anther plate of food that is being forced into them. Life with family is fun that way. ”
hi, i totally identify. do we have the same mom? because i think we do. anyway, hopefully the rest of your trip went better, nad happy holidays. may you have safe travels back to chi-town!
xoxo, bb
Hahah I’m surprised you held out that long. Family is stressful. Especially around the holidays. God knows mine is!
hahaha hope the rest of your christmas was bearable! when i e mailed you earlier and realized i left the wrong web address…oops! anyway i added you to my blogroll…hope you don’t mind
I know, sometimes I can’t resist having a cigarette, even though I ‘quit’ in January. They’re so hard to give up completely!! Especially when family is involved!
Stay strong. I quit 2-1/2 years ago.
On an unrelated note, these little snowflakes are hypnotizing.
No smoking! Bad! Yuck!
Haha, okay, now that I’m done with that. I just got home from Vegas and totally want to go back. Screw this Chicago cold. Also, I did happen to walk by Bill’s Gambling Hall, BUT I did NOT partake in hookers while walking past. I am no help to your googler either!
This post made me laugh – not that you are thinking of having a cig (bad girl!) but rather that you are stuck 4 to a room for the holidays. It sounds like my family whom I adore but always thinks the more the merrier so they pack the house full of people and we all enjoy mass chaos….enJoy being the operative word here…Happy New Year!
Really nice post – thanx for sharing
Nicole (comment #1) already gave the ‘no smoking it’s bad for you!’ comment (and for that I love her) so instead I will say that I hope that you survived your holidays and found yourself surrounded by those you loved and those who love you this New Years.
Ooooh I love the snow! And as for smoking, I can’t say yay or nay, my bf smokes and is in the process of quitting but I know it helps him out a bit, so it probably helps you too.
Anyhoo, hope you had a fabulous Christmas and a Happy New Year.
On second thought, you shouldn’t be 3d friends with me. I smoke. It’s gross but hey, I’ve got to have a flaw, right? I kid, I kid!! I’m a nasty smoker, you shouldn’t take me seriously.
I always maintain that I can quit whenever I want to – I just don’t want to. I’m not so sure about that anymore. I think I’ll go cold turkey when I hit 26. I’m trusting vanity’s going to win this war.